Now We're Talking

During lunch break:
Barkada: May boyfriend na ba siya?

Me: Wala pa eh. Kasi may asawa na ako.

Dave 's Status Message:

Dave: Don't judge the boobs when it is covered.

Over lunch, me and Melissa talking about the fish fillet:

Me: Hindi filleng-fillet 'yung tinik sa fish fillet nila.

Comment to Hope on meeting a girl:

Me: Beck-Shoot!

Advice to Hope on meeting a girl:

Me: Slow and short thrusts lang kapag first time.

My wife after seeing me wet and all one night:

Wife: 'Di ba sabi ko mag-tricycle ka?

After a heated argument at the phone:

Melissa: Gusto ko na nga siyang dukutin sa telepono sa sobrang galit ko eh.

At Pulp SummerSlam V

Jay of Kamikazee: Nasa backstage nga pala si Carlos Agassi, inuupakan namin.

After hearing the bad news:

Me: Wala tayong LOVE bonus. 'Asan ang love dito?

Profound Thoughts from an Indian Consultant:

Ram: He is only vegetarian when he is in their house. (talking about or ex-Indian Consultant, Srivatsa)
Ram: In Saudi, it's better to be in jail than to be outside.
Ram: After vegetarian dinner, every meat will gonna be fine.

During yosi break:

Me: What? Wendy's? Here in Makati?

Ram: No, I said it's kinda windy here.

Pre -Vinna 's Wedding Conversation:
Melissa: Bukas ba sa kasal ni Vinna, eh magdadala ko nang maraming tissue para sa'yo?
Melissa: Kaya mo ba 'ko sinasama eh para meron kang shoulder to cry on?

On a heated argument with a taxi driver:
Driver: Sabi niyo kanina Santolan!

Me: Santolan MRT po.

Driver: Sana, Santolan Edsa sinabi niyo, naintindihan ko pa. Babalik tuloy tayo.

Melissa: At least, nalibot natin ang Pasig.

On a drinking session courtesy of a newly grad soldier friend:

Buddy: Alam mo 'yang training niyo sa sundalo, parang training lang sa ROTC? (Drunk)

Me: Alam mo 'yang training niyo sa sundalo, parang training lang sa boy scout? (Very drunk)

On a conversation regarding my salary increase:

Sir Steve: Double whammy ka, baka kung ano nakuha mong increase noon, eh makuha mo ulit ngayon.

Talking about how behave his children were:

My wife 's cousin: Kaya maganda at matino iyan, hindi ko pinakain nang 2 araw.

Advice on how to treat children:

My wife 's cousin: Kapag may problema ka pa din, gutumin mo nang dalawang araw.

Upon seeing my baby's picture:

Melissa: Parang Cabbage Patch Kid ang baby mo.

Overheard from a foreigner at the Starbucks while talking to someone on his cellphone:

Foreigner: No, I mean beaches, I like swimming on beaches.

(I concluded that the other person on the line thought that the foreigner is looking for "bitches".)

After a motorcyclist revealed his gun to the driver of the jeepney who intentionally swerved the slow cyclist:

Driver: Ang tao talaga ngayon, kumukuha na lang ng tapang sa baril.

Upon learning that my baby can already rollover:

Sol: Baka nakita sa tatay kaya natuto ng dumapa.

Seminar on Basic Banking comments:

Gernel: Para maburiri natin ng todo.
Gernel: Parang tahing-benta. (RTW)
Gernel: Di ko kaya sa likod, sa harap lang.
Someone: Early Withdrawal
Someone: Sino nag-deposit?
Gernel: Pag teller, pasok lang ng pasok.
Me: No name dropping.
Gernel: Sa branch, ang kain eh parang jingle lang.

On inserting two ID card to a single ID card holder:

Sol: Pag may ilaw mga 5 minutes maipapasok, pag wala, dalawang palakpak lang.

Overheard from a lady on a cellphone at Starbucks:

Lady: Andito kami sa Pacific Star Bucks (talking about Starbucks at Pacific Star)

Comments at the elevator from two Claudine Baretto fan (or critic):

Bank Employee: Ang arte-arte niya naman umarte...

After entering the vicinity of Mandaluyong:

Rachie: Ewan ko lang kung naririnig niyo pero eto ang tinatawag nilang...

After entering the vicinity of Caloocan:

Me: Ewan ko lang kung naririnig niyo pero eto ang tinatawag nilang Monumento Park sa gitna ng highway...

Overheard while I'm trapped in an elevator:

Technician: May na-trap po ba diyan?

Terchician: Subukan ninyong buksan iyong pinto, both doors. Iyong right hand mo sa left door, 'yung left hand mo sa right door.

One Friend at the other side of the elevator: Ano last word mo?

One Friend at the other side of the elevator: May gusto ka ba diyan sa loob?

One Friend at the other side of the elevator: May ipagbibilin ka ba?

Me: Puwede ba magyosi dito?

During breakfast:

Me: Ikaw ba 'yung nasa right side ng elevator kahapon paglabas ko?

Sol: Itanong mo na lang sa akin kung nakita kita.

Me: Nakita mo ko?

Sol: Oo

Me: Ok

Reason of being absent yesterday:

Eric: Pare nagpacheck ako ng potassium level ko

Last birthday greeting syndrome (my favorite one):

A Fwend: Last na. Happy Birthday ulit...

Word For The Day:

Hope: Hilahod

A friend's response whenever I asked her to treat me:

ebtg: Nasaan ako? Sino kang kausap ko?

During lunch break:

Barkada: P're ang suwerte mo talaga 'no? Last year nanalo ka sa billiard tournament. Tapos na-promote ka pa. Ngayon naman sa bag ng Starbucks. Suwerte ka talaga.

Me: Binibigay na nga lahat ni Lord sa'kin eh. Sabi ni Lord, "Dense, ibibigay ko na sa'yo lahat, wag ka lang magpa-annul ng kasal."